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Dear Woman: A Letter

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020

I know your struggles, because I am a woman. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend…. I am also a daughter of the King and my
God tells me that the only thing that holds me back is me, when I let sin get in the way. For years I have struggled to accomplish my goals. I haven’t followed through with them because of my sins, but I have just now finally realized this truth, or maybe I realized it before, but refused to accept it. Instead, I placed the blame on my husband, my kids, my
work – on everything else but myself, because it’s easier to point the finger at others for your inefficiencies rather than owning up to your own faults and weaknesses. Nobody wants to hear that they’re not perfect, but we all know that nobody is, so why is it so hard to admit it about our own selves? Because of this I haven’t been able to move forward to be the
person that God has called me to be.

If you can relate to what I’m saying, I would love it if you join me on my journey. I’m not going to lie or paint you a rosey picture. It won’t be easy – I’ve got to work on a lifetime of playing the blame game. We can do this together. We can help each other turn away from blaming our past and present on why we can’t become the person we know we WANT to be.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Let’s start setting our eyes on the prize and start looking inward at our hearts and becoming the woman that God created us to be while following through on God’s calling for our life, whatever that may be for each one of us. Because one thing is for sure – we are all unique in our own ways, but despite our differences we can be united as one body. I’ll get to this another day, but this realization that we are all unique and not meant to be the same is something that a lot of us women struggle with. Instead we tend to try to be like other women or the world’s view of women, rather than being true to ourselves. We are all on our own journey and what makes all of us so beautiful is that we each have special and unique gifts that we need to share with the world, but when we try to be the woman the world thinks we should be, we are suppressing our true selves and missing out on so much potential!!! I have a lot more to say on this topic, but that is all I’ll say today.

The first step to becoming the woman we are called to be is realizing and accepting, rather than ignoring and denying, that you are often your own thorn in your side. You are your own obstacle. Then what you need to do is – and this is something that I’m working on, as well – forgive yourself. Because let’s get real – it can be easy to fall into a state of self-loathing when we see how we have held ourselves back all this time. How far could I be if I had gone after my goals when I first dreamt of them. It was at least 20 years ago when I first felt the calling to write a book. I was in college and the ideas flooded in. For 20 years, I’ve kept saying, one day… the calling to write a book has never left me. But it’s never too late to follow through on what you want to do with your life. Today I’m waking up, maybe for the first time or maybe the thousandth time. All the other times I wasn’t ready to own up to myself, and I squashed the idea because I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t want to work on myself. I wanted to keep pointing the finger and blaming everything on everyone else. Today is day one of my future self. No looking back, no pointing fingers, no blame games. I CHOOSE to forgive myself and CHOOSE to move forward with a plan. Whatever happened in the past, all the bad times, all the good times, happened for me, leading up to this moment, so that I can be true to my future self, so I can have deeper relationships, so I can be more emotionally intellectual than I’ve ever been so I can have a stronger walk with God. That is the goal. We get to decide what to do with our life – whether we decide to be an athlete, a wife, a mom, a missionary, a writer, a teacher, or whatever you want to be – what we decide to do doesn’t matter as long as we continuously work toward our future, living out our purpose, living each day with intention and meaning, following the calling in our lives.

Trust in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4