I’ve received some feedback on my decision to shut down the fan pages (both for photography and my designs). Just to clear things up, I am still offering sessions and designing templates, but I just feel at this time in my life, God is calling me to be more involved as a wife and mom (and friend) and less involved as a professional photographer/designer. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I have a deeper desire than ever to create lately, but in more ways than I have limited myself to since my babies were born.  And not for personal gain, but personal satisfaction that I’m creating and being the Jennifer God created me to be.

In my journey of becoming a wife and mother, I found photography and photoshop along the way and it really helped me to keep in touch with my creative side, but somewhere in all of that I lost sight of creativity and became hopeless about ever succeeding as a professional photographer – due to time constraints, economy, market and more – You try working a full time job, raising children, and being a good wife and homemaker while trying to start up a business!!!

I have gone back and forth, tossing around lots of ideas. I’ve felt so torn because I love photography but couldn’t see how it would fit into my life, since my husband and kids are my number one priority and ministry. Yet, I couldn’t understand why God would put such a passion for photography in my heart if it weren’t meant for more than just a hobby. Even today, I look forward to photographing a new little one this weekend, and in that I will have to give up some of my precious family time, but I feel good about it. I finally feel like I’ve got my answers – or my orders (from God).

At this time in my life, I do not plan to push the my photography & design business. I will still take on sessions and design at leisure, but without pressure – I will do it as I feel called to do it. If requested to do a photo shoot, I will consider what else is going on in my life and base my decision on that. So, since I’m not pushing the business side of things, I’m taking down the fan pages. I’ll post any new photos or designs on my blog and on my personal facebook page and assume the people that truly care will see them.

I’m excited that I finally am at peace about how to go forward with my passions. I know now that God has blessed my little family so much and these gifts he’s given me are also blessings that I can share with and use to minister to others.

- I’ve decided to start my diet / exercise plan… again… I’m starting over for the 4th time (at least) this year.

- I’m excited for tonight – dinner with my mother- and sister-in-law… I just hope Grace cooperates for daddy

- I should be a new auntie before this day is done I wonder what she (who is yet to be named) will look like…

- I’m probably more excited than I should be that many ants, spiders and any other creepy crawling thing in our yard will be dead before sundown. It’s time to spray again…

- I’ve got a list a mile long for the weekend – here’s a sample: clean house, groceries, laundry, bedding, car wash, play with my kids (yes, i have to write it down!), workout at least twice, spend time with my sweet hubby and find time to be creative

- and on that note, it’s time to get going! Have a great weekend!

If you’re like me, you usually have about 10 million thoughts rattling around in your head throughout the day. My mind is constantly moving, even though for 40 hours a week my tush is constantly sitting in my office chair. In this time, I often dream about all the things that I need to do, want to do, or upcoming events, and so on. If I let it, it can consume me or worse, depress me. Here I am, stuck at work, feeling so useless (never mind the fact that I’m contributing to the household income) with so much that I could/should be doing at home. So, I think this blog is going to be helpful in that I might just track all my random thoughts here.

So today, here are some random thoughts of a working mom:

- Noah starts first grade in 3 weeks and 6 days ~ we don’t find out who his teacher is for 3 weeks and 3 days. I’m excited for him to go back to school, but I’m pretty sure he would rather summer last forever. I don’t even know why I’m so excited, it doesn’t change much for me, since I’m at work anyways. And it’s also a sign of his growing up, which if it were up to me, the kids would stay little forever, so why the heck am I excited for first grade?

- I’m so tired today. Grace woke me up THREE times last night! Funny, because yesterday afternoon I was relishing in the fact that she has been sleeping through the night lately. I’m used to one wakeup most nights, but she’s spoiled me. I guess she felt she was behind, so she had to do some catching up last night. Anyhow, I felt last night was not like the usual wakeups. She seemed sad, scared, lonely It really broke my heart. I really love this girl… I should save that thought for a separate point though.

- I really love that girl! She’s turning into the cutest, sweetest little two year old I know. She is so full of passion and spirit – so alive! She knows what she wants and fights for it, yet is well behaved. She loves the sight of dogs, babies, airplanes, pincher bugs, daddy, Noah, Teta, Papa, and so much more and squeals with excitement whenever she sees them. She loves being a little mama to the babies at daycare, helping Daddy take his shoes off and check the mail, and watching Barney with Mommy. She is such a bright light in this world and am enjoying so much watching her grow and mature. She’s not much of a baby anymore, and though it’s bittersweet, I am loving watching her turn into a little girl.

- Now I feel I have to brag on Noah, my little man. He is so smart and sweet. He likes everyone and is at that age where his little feelings are so sensitive. He will be your best friend if you’ll just play with him. He loves making his sister laugh and is the only one that can really get her going. He’s a great big brother. His favorite thing to do lately is play Super Mario Brothers on his DS. This kid is amazing, but I don’t know if it means we let him play too much DS or if he’s just a natural, but he’s one world away from beating the game on his own. I can barely beat one level, let alone a whole world! He loves Taylor Swift and thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. He says he has three girlfriends at school, but plans to only marry one of them. He’s part ninja and that’s how he knows so much karate without ever taking karate lessons. And he has taught himself how to swim this summer and I couldn’t be more proud of him!

That’s enough thoughts for now. I have many more…

So I decided to start a new blog and get rid of all the other ones. I have always felt my blogs were limited and I really don’t want to have more than one to maintain, so this one, with a title like “The Art in Me” hopefully will allow me to express all of me, not just part of me. It’s not just a photography blog or a craft blog or a blog to record cute things the kids are doing. It’s just a place to express myself. To show off my latest photo shoot, art/craft project, poetry, thoughts, and reflections, and to share anything else going on with my little family. I’m really going to try to keep this one up, as I feel it will be good for me.